As parents, we often focus on teens who are visibly struggling. But what about the ones who seem like they have it all together? The ones who are smiling, achieving, and appearing “fine” on the outside—yet might be battling anxiety or depression on the inside?
This is called masking, and it’s more common than you might think.
What Is Masking?
Masking is the act of hiding negative emotions behind inauthentic positive ones. It’s a way to appear “normal” or avoid uncomfortable conversations. While masking is a skill we all use in certain situations—like staying composed during a job interview—problems arise when it becomes a habitual way of coping.
For teens, masking can be a way to avoid judgment, fit in socially, or keep their vulnerabilities hidden. Unfortunately, this can lead to deeper emotional distress if left unaddressed.
3 Signs Your Teen May Be Masking
1. Constant Fatigue
Does your teen seem tired all the time, even when they’ve had enough rest? Acting like everything is “fine” all day long is exhausting. They may need the evening to recharge, spending hours sleeping, scrolling on their phone, or zoning out on YouTube.
💡 Parent Tip: Fatigue could stem from physical causes like lack of sleep or poor nutrition, so it’s important to rule those out. But if nothing seems to explain their exhaustion, it could be emotional.
2. Unexplained Physical Pain
The mind and body are deeply connected. Emotional distress can manifest as headaches, stomachaches, or other physical symptoms. When teens feel anxious or overwhelmed for long periods, their bodies send distress signals that often go unnoticed.
💡 Parent Tip: If your teen frequently complains about aches and pains without a clear cause, it might be time to consider the emotional root of their discomfort.
3. Perfectionism
Perfectionism can be a mask for anxiety. Teens may believe that if they can achieve perfection, they’ll feel less anxious or more in control. But perfectionism often amplifies self-doubt and anxiety, creating a never-ending cycle.
💡 Parent Tip: If your teen is a high achiever who’s hard on themselves for even small mistakes, their perfectionism could be a sign of masking.
Why Do Teens Mask?
Teens mask for a variety of reasons, including:
To gain social acceptance
To hide vulnerability
To avoid conflict or judgment
To conceal emotions like sadness, anger, or fear
Masking looks different for everyone. Some common “masks” include:
🎭 Happy Mask: Smiling and joking to appear fine.
🎭 Anger Mask: Using anger to push others away.
🎭 People-Pleasing Mask: Prioritizing others’ needs to avoid criticism.
🎭 Humor Mask: Making jokes to deflect attention from pain.
How Can Parents Help Teens Stop Masking?
Be Aware: The first step is recognizing the signs of masking in your teen.
Create a Safe Space: Let them know it’s okay to express their true feelings without fear of judgment.
Seek Support: If you suspect your teen is masking, working with a professional can make all the difference.
How I Can Help
As a certified parent coach, I specialize in helping parents and teens navigate challenges like masking. Together, we’ll:
✅ Create a safe space for your teen to express themselves.
✅ Teach them tools to manage their emotions effectively.
✅ Help them embrace authenticity and build resilience.
Take the First Step
Your teen doesn’t have to face this alone—and neither do you.
📅 Schedule a free consultation today to explore how I can support your family. Let’s work together to uncover the truth behind the mask and help your teen thrive.
Jennifer Delliquadri, Certified Professional Coach for Parents and Teenagers
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